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As Father’s Day approaches, Riker begins to feel wistful about his childless lifestyle. He eagerly agrees to mentor a group of new ensigns, but the task proves more challenging than he expected.
Data gets a traditional nautical tattoo.
Wesley’s first attempt to do laundry by himself ends tragically when all of his sweaters shrink down to baby size. A recent audit of Data’s files shows that 90% of them are cat videos.
jadzia--dax asked: Can this be a thing?: Worf loses a bet to Data and now must wear sparkles and spandex when he greets the Klingon ambassador that will be arriving later today. Meanwhile, the computer's new favorite phrase is "That ain't my job!"
Sparkle Worf sounds like one of David Bowie’s alter egos
Rumors of a zombie Tasha sighting prove to be true when she appears in Picard’s quarters seeking revenge (and brains). Data and Geordi are having issues with their two-person giraffe costume.
Anonymous asked: The bridge gets covered in carpet and transforms into a giant cat playground. Tiny space fuzzies provide beards for every member of the crew.
After speeding away from Betazed, a mortified Picard is summoned to Federation Traffic Court for going Warp 9.4 in a Warp 4.7 zone. Tasha blasts a hole in her ceiling trying to kill a spider.
When Lal breaks Data’s precious violin, he decides the best course of action is to “ground” her. When she sends him a comm three days later about her fascinating shore leave, Data begins to wonder if he misunderstood the nature of the punishment.
Data’s emotion chip finally works as intended, giving him a form of savior-faire nobody anticipated. Every night Data is in Ten Forward in his pickup artist bling, negging female ensigns and practicing his game. Any attempt to challenge his atrocious behavior is met with the hissed response “Get back in your place, you BETA,” and a combination of his rank and physical strength ends the argument then and there. Tensions rise on the Enterprise as Data’s behavior creates an environment of hostility and the threat of sexual violence, and a group of junior officers organizes a Take Back the Night march on Deck 10. Finally, as Data attempts for the sixth time to spill a drink on Ensign Sito’s uniform so he can invite her to take it off in his quarters, Guinan pulls her disruptor rifle from under the bar and blasts an enormous hole in Data’s torso. Thousands and thousands of Magic: the Gathering cards from the Unlimited, Arabian Nights, Antiquities, and Legends expansions pour from the hole in his body. “My decks!” shrieks Data as his guts pour out all over the floor of Ten Forward. His wails slow to a low error-laden growl, like HAL’s speech as Dave Bowman disconnects him, as the Moxen and Black Lotuses leave his body. Finally Data is silent, an inert husk surrounded by the most powerful tournament decks ever built.